You Know Everyone Else's Needs. Can You Name One of Your Own?
20 questions that finally explain why you feel lost inside a life you built with your own hands.
You can describe exactly what your kids need for school this week. You know what your partner is stressed about. You remember which friend is going through a hard time. But when someone asks what YOU need right now, your mind goes blank. That blank space is not emptiness. It's a survival pattern you developed years ago that filters out your own desires before you even become conscious of them. This checklist helps you see the pattern and get underneath it.
1. Clear descriptions of four survival patterns (The Performer, The Peacekeeper, The Postponer, The Perfectionist Quitter) — so you can recognize which one has been deciding what you're 'allowed' to want
2. A pattern identification tally from five diagnostic questions — so you can pinpoint your dominant pattern with specificity instead of guessing
3. Seven questions that expose how your pattern has been shrinking your desires for years — so you can see the direct connection between the pattern and that stuck, blank feeling you keep experiencing
4. Six desire-bypass questions designed to surface what you would choose if guilt and fear were removed — so you can finally hear your own honest answers instead of the automatic 'I don't know'
Lainie Etzioni is a courage and confidence coach who works with women over 35 who are done going through the motions and ready to figure out what they actually want. She specializes in helping women dismantle the protective patterns that keep them stuck and silent and helps capable women who have spent years choosing the safe, responsible path build the courage to take meaningful chances- so they don’t look back at their lives with regret.
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